Remember when i was in collage. At my last year as a senior. I was struggling so much to finish my paper. There are so much doubt and not confident decisions in my mind. And those things never come out to any one, so there is no one who understand what i want. What i feel.
There are so much thing to do, to be done, but what i have to do is nothing. I busy calculate every single thing that would come up, not do everything that i need. Busy with think and judging what God have been done to me. Even that success is really near with, i really doubt if its gonna work with me. If that way is really perfect and written for me. If graduate is really proper to me. If that title is really meant to me. And then, after many times i spend for doubting, grumbling, crying, even i had forgeting bout it, i got it. My last paper was done, and it was pretty easy at the end, my brain was work really smooth in the last minutes. However, my paper test wasmt going perfect, i got perfect score and ending my collage year smoothly perfect. Its easy.
Aand now, i face the same condition. I doubt, lazy, crying, and angry with ma self. There are so much calculating with no end in my brain. I dont know where i must take the step. And i dont know if it will going right to me. I dontknow what God really write for me. Success? Or die? Everyone couldnt stand in life. Everyone is crawling to die.
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